You’re allowed to outgrow old versions of yourself

We celebrate growth in others.
We admire the leader who’s evolved. We respect the professional who’s “come a long way.”

But when it’s our turn to grow, we hesitate.

Because growth isn’t just about gaining something new, it’s about letting something go.
And often, what we’re being asked to release is an old version of ourselves that once worked. That once earned us trust. That once made us successful.

There’s a quiet grief in that. One that rarely gets acknowledged in leadership conversations.
But if we want to lead at the next level — we must give ourselves permission to outgrow who we used to be.

What’s the real issue?

In project environments, I see leaders clinging to past versions of themselves every day.

A project sponsor who micromanages because being the “doer” once proved her worth.
A team lead who avoids strategic decisions because he’s still most comfortable in the operational weeds.
A delivery manager who insists on being in every meeting, not because it’s effective but because it feels familiar.

They’re not wrong. They’re not ineffective.
They’re just in transition.

Here’s the tricky part: that old version of you likely got you here.
It worked. It was useful. It kept things moving.
But now, it’s not what’s needed and deep down, you know it.

The problem is, we attach identity to behaviour.
And when we’re asked to behave differently, we fear we’ll lose ourselves in the process.

What if I’m no longer the expert?
What if they don’t see me as valuable anymore?
What if letting go of this habit means letting go of me?

What’s the shift in thinking?

Leadership growth isn’t about abandoning your past.
It’s about updating your understanding of who you are.

There’s a difference between loyalty to your strengths and loyalty to your habits.
The first will serve your growth. The second will stifle it.

What made you successful as a project lead won’t necessarily help you succeed as a sponsor.
What helped you manage a small team might limit you when leading cross-functional delivery.
What earned praise early in your career may now be seen as overstepping, overcontrolling, or outdated.

If you’re feeling tension in your role not burnout, but misalignment – it might not be a sign of weakness.
It might be a sign you’re outgrowing your old identity.

And that’s not a failure. That’s evolution.

What’s the model that helps?

I often use a reflection tool called The Growth Loop with my mentoring clients. It’s not fancy but it’s powerful:

1. Awareness – What’s no longer aligned with how you want to lead?
2. Release – What beliefs, behaviours, or labels are you willing to let go of?
3. Rebuild – What new mindset or habit will you practise instead?
4. Repeat – How will you continue to evolve without apology?

This loop isn’t a one-off. It’s a pattern of leadership maturity.
You’ll go through it many times and sometimes in small, quiet ways. Other times through seismic shifts.

And each time, it’ll feel uncomfortable. But also necessary.

What’s the practical application?

Here’s what I suggest if you’re in that uncomfortable space of growth right now:

1. Name what you’re clinging to.
   Is it being the one who always fixes things?
   Is it being seen as the expert, the safe pair of hands, the peacemaker?
2. Ask what it’s costing you.
   Are you avoiding conflict to protect your “likeability”?
   Are you over-functioning for your team because it feels easier than delegating?
3. Define who you’re becoming.
   Leadership isn’t static. It’s seasonal.
   Who do you need to be now, in this context, with this team?
4. Communicate the shift.
   Let your team know you’re evolving. That you’re practising a new way of leading.
   This builds trust, not confusion. People respect self-awareness.
5. Stay curious, not critical.
   If you revert to old habits, that’s ok. Growth is a loop, not a ladder.

Case in point

I once worked with a sponsor who was promoted after years of being a trusted subject matter expert.
She was technically brilliant. But in her new role, her deep dive into the detail was creating bottlenecks and frustration.
She knew she needed to change. But she told me:

“If I let go of being the expert, what’s left?”

We worked through her Growth Loop. She realised her real value wasn’t in having the answers, it was in asking better questions, enabling others, and guiding decisions from above.

She didn’t lose her credibility.
She expanded it.

Your invitation

There’s no shame in outgrowing old versions of yourself.

In fact, the most powerful leaders I’ve worked with are those who reflect, recalibrate, and reinvent themselves as they move through new challenges.

You don’t need to discard your past.
You need to decide what no longer serves your future.

So the next time you feel that internal pull – the discomfort, the misalignment, the sense of “this isn’t me anymore” – pause and listen.

It might not be a crisis.
It might just be your next evolution calling.

What version of you are you ready to outgrow and what space might that create?