Questions shape conversations

I booked as soon as the tickets were released. It was an opportunity to be in the room hearing from someone I have admired for about 15 years, yet we had never met. For me he navigated critical and complex situations with humanity, consistency, inclusion…all the things I believe is project leadership, no matter the title you have.

On Thursday as the lights dimmed and our eyes focused on the stage, the entrance music began, on walked the interviewer Hon. Julie Bishop, former Australian politician and now Chancellor of Australian National University to take up her position to introduce President Barack Obama.

I stood. I applauded. It was going to be a night to blow my mind, or did it?

Let me start by sharing my three takeaways from the President’s stories.

1. The three Rs for navigating differences and equality – relationships, respect, rules.
2. Everyone wants a voice at the table, and they deserve it, but it is difficult to agree with backgrounds, beliefs, and behaviours – build social trust, agree principles and understanding.
3. Being a leader is like being in a relay race you don’t control the state of the baton when you receive it, you run the best race while you hold it but still don’t finish everything you wanted to before passing the baton on and you continue to tell the story of what should be done.

The car ride home debrief was not what I thought it was going to be. We had just spent an evening with a global leader yet felt some disappointment. Mr. Obama provided thought provoking answers, yet I felt he wanted to give more – more of his wisdom, more of his humour, and more of his future dreams.

It was the questions, although relevant to current global events they did not engage with us who left Sydney and Melbourne arenas with mixed reflections of a once in a lifetime event.

It is a reminder for all of us. We can have the best presenter or facilitator, the best guest or spokesperson and the best crowd or community. If we do not have the right questions to shape our conversations, we are limiting our curiosity, creativity, and connection.

Here are some tips to help you ask engaging questions when you are in the room with your team and stakeholders:

• Be curious: Start by being genuinely curious about the person you’re asking questions to. Show interest in their background, experiences, and opinions.
• Be open-ended: Ask open-ended questions that require more than just a yes or no answer. This will encourage the person to share more details and help you understand their perspective better.
• Be specific: Ask specific questions that are relevant to the person’s interests, experiences, or goals. This will help you get more insightful and actionable answers.
• Be respectful: Respect the person’s privacy, boundaries, and cultural norms. Avoid asking personal or intrusive questions that might make them uncomfortable.
• Be attentive: Listen carefully to the person’s answers and follow up with thoughtful questions that show you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Are you asking the right questions?

You can use these questions to get you started in shaping conversations.

1. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned in the last year?
2. What motivates you to get up in the morning?
3. What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in your career so far?
4. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
5. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to learn but haven’t had the chance to yet?
6. What’s your favourite book/movie/TV show, and why?
7. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
8. What’s one thing you wish more people understood about you?
9. What’s one goal you have for the next year, and how do you plan to achieve it?
10. What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned from a mistake you’ve made?