When values clash: conflict or opportunity?

Values are often celebrated as the glue that holds a team together – the things we all supposedly share, align to, and live by.

But what happens when those values don’t align?

When one person prioritises innovation and another stability? When honesty feels like criticism, or when someone’s drive for efficiency collides with another’s need for inclusion?

These aren’t personality clashes. They’re often values at odds.

And here’s the thing: that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Conflict isn’t the enemy, poor navigation is

We tend to fear values-based conflict, assuming it signals dysfunction or misalignment that must be “fixed.” But sometimes, those moments are necessary – even productive – if we’re willing to stay curious.

As Ronald Reagan once said: “Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”

The same is true in project environments.

Values don’t always need to match but they do need to be understood. Because when we don’t name and navigate our differences, they tend to show up in more disruptive ways: in silence, avoidance, rework, or breakdowns in trust.

It’s not always about right or wrong

Not all values clashes are oppositional. Sometimes, they’re simply a matter of emphasis.

Let’s take an example:

• A delivery lead values structure and predictability.
• A change manager values agility and responsiveness.

These values are important in complex project environments. But if left unspoken, they can pull the team in opposite directions. The delivery lead may view the change manager as disorganised or too reactive. The change manager might see the delivery lead as rigid or resistant.

But once those underlying values are acknowledged, the conversation shifts. It becomes less about who’s right and more about how do we work together better with what matters most to each of us?

Navigating the clash: a simple compass

You don’t need to be a coach or conflict resolution expert to handle values-based tension. You just need a bit of structure and curiosity.

Try using this quick 3-step compass:

Notice

Pay attention to the signs of friction – frustration, misunderstanding, or repeated tension.

Name

Ask yourself or the team: What value might be sitting underneath this behaviour or reaction?

Navigate

Explore where there’s common ground. Can both values be honoured in how you work, decide, or communicate?

The goal isn’t to compromise your core values. It’s to avoid assuming ill intent or creating false opposites (e.g., speed vs quality, inclusion vs control). Often, values can be reframed as complementary rather than competing.

Don’t let unspoken values undermine performance

One of the most overlooked risks in team dynamics is this: values that are active but unspoken.

You might have a performing team on paper, but underneath the surface, there’s discomfort or distrust and it often traces back to a lack of values awareness.

Here are some indicators you might be dealing with a values clash:

• A team member keeps pushing back on decisions but can’t articulate why.
• Stakeholders are disengaged even when progress is happening.
• Conversations feel tense or “loaded” even when discussing neutral topics.
• You hear phrases like “that’s just how they are” or “they never listen.”

Rather than jumping to personality or capability conclusions, take a pause. Ask yourself: What matters most to this person that might not be visible? And how might it differ from what matters to me?

Turning conflict into connection

One of my favourite moments in a facilitation session was when a senior business stakeholder and a systems architect realised they’d been arguing for weeks – not because they didn’t care about the project, but because they both cared deeply, just about different things.

She cared about customer experience. He cared about system integrity.

Neither was wrong. Both were right.

Once they recognised the values behind their positions, they stopped competing and started co-creating. They aligned on a principle that future decisions would support both values and team meetings became less about winning a debate and more about balancing impact.

That’s the power of turning a clash into an opportunity.

Values don’t need to match. But they do need to be understood.

As project leaders, one of the most valuable things we can do is create space for conversations about what really matters, before those unspoken tensions erode our culture or delivery.

Because when we make values visible, we shift from defensiveness to understanding, from resistance to possibility.

And that’s when conflict becomes a creative force, not a threat.